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People Online:
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Don't have an account yet? You can create one. As registered user you have some advantages like theme manager, comments configuration and post comments with your name.
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Users seen last 24HRS:
adam_one: 5 Min Ago
Gman: 55 Min Ago
jaygator: 4 Hrs, 21 Min Ago
Lrn2Fly: 4 Hrs, 25 Min Ago
mansholt: 4 Hrs, 25 Min Ago
MI: 4 Hrs, 35 Min Ago
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ComPilots: 8 Hrs 13 Sec Ago
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Noble: 20 Hrs, 37 Min Ago
huet: 21 Hrs, 48 Min Ago
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A plea for help from a grounded Australian to his friend
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Hi BJ,
I am writing to you, because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's license back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts. Well now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate, I'm bloody desperate. But first, I'd better tell you what happened during my last flight review with the CAA Examiner.
On the phone, Ron (that's the CAA dickhead) seemed a reasonable sort of bloke. He politely reminded me of the need to do a flight review every two years. He even offered to drive out, have a look over my property and let me operate from my own strip. Naturally I agreed to that.
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to departure..... by the way as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "National 63 cleared for takeoff......did you copy the report from Eastern?"
National 63: "Roger, Tower, cleared for takeoff..... yes, we've already notified our caterers."
---===+===---
Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a lake and heading toward the big E."
Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar."
(Short pause)......
Controller: "Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to the big W immediately ....."
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More Aviation Sayings... and jokes
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Anonymous writes "
- A fiberglass port-a-potty at Oshkosh with the message "I could have been a Glassair!" written on it.
- I would like to die in my sleep like my father did, not in screaming terror, like his passengers.
- If God had meant man to fly, He would have given him more money or airplane tickets.
"
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The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans
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Anonymous writes "
1. BadAir Airlines: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.
2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our frequent near-miss program.
4. On flights, every section is a smoking section.
5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.
7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off."
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10 Signs You Have a Bad Pilot
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Anonymous writes "
1. You overhear him say on the intercom "Hey, Pedro, What's this gizmo do?"
2. For the past two hours, you've been going straight up.
3. He says, "We're cruising at an altitude of 40 feet".
4. The Co-pilot is sitting on his lap."
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Anonymous writes "
A fighter pilot goes to a bar after a good days flying. Whilst there, he meets a young attractive and available lady. She is charmed by his tales of aerial combat, high speed flight, and death defying feats.
The inevitable happens and they slip away to somewhere more comfortable for an evening’s intimate entertainment."
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Help for an aspiring Fighter Pilot
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Anonymous writes "
To LtCol Ventura,
Sir I am DJ Baker and I would appreciate it if you could tell me what it takes to be an F16 fighter pilot of the USAF. What classes should I take in high school to help the career I want to take later in my life. What could I do to get in the academy.
Sincerely
DJ Baker
-----End of Original Message-----"
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New Pilot role titles – clarification
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Anonymous writes "
From a British Airways Flight Operations Department Notice:
There appears to be some confusion over the new pilot role titles. This notice will hopefully clear up any misunderstandings.
The titles P1, P2 and Co-Pilot will now cease to have any meaning, within the BA Operations Manual. They are to be replaced by Handling Pilot, Non-Handling Pilot, Non-Handling Landing Pilot, Handling Non-Landing Pilot and Non-Handling Non-Landing Pilot."
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peter_pan writes "
A short poem written for all who chose the aviation business!
Last night while I lay sleeping,
I died or so it seems.
Then I went to heaven,
but it was only in my dreams.
But it seems St. Peter met me,
there at the pearly gate.
He said, " I must check your record, so
stand right here and wait.""
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peter_pan writes "
An other something i picked up on the web.
Over the airwaves:"
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X-Air-Force Pilots/Nathan Judah.
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peter_pan writes "
Israel is famous for its Fighter Pilots. Many of them join the airliners as captain’s and first officers, a fact that creates a problem for the General-Aviation pilots who can’t compete with the number of hours the X-air-force pilots have logged by the time they apply for the airliners jobs."
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The right way or the hard way!
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Anonymous writes "
Here are two radio conversations between ATC and pilots who like to joke around!
ATC: "Hotel Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading."
Pilot: "Wilco...... 341, 342, 343, 344, 345...."
Later in the day:"
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Cleared direct Chibougamau
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Anonymous writes "
A conversation not typically hared on the air:
Monkton Center: "Speed-bird 169 cleared direct Chibougamau"
BAW169: "I'm sorry, sir, can you repeat that?""
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Anonymous writes "
While taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off."
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| Monday, December 22 | | · | Fuel dumping (0) |
| Sunday, December 14 | | · | One liners and bumper sticker slogans! (0) |
| Monday, December 08 | | · | Building your own aircraft? (0) |
| Tuesday, November 25 | | · | Aviation Questions and Answers (0) |
| Thursday, November 20 | | · | Hot-shot fighter (0) |
| Monday, November 10 | | · | Stan The Pilot (0) |
| Sunday, November 09 | | · | Size counts (1) |
| Saturday, November 01 | | · | How slow can you go? (0) |
| Thursday, October 23 | | · | Ill plane! (0) |
| Friday, October 17 | | · | Fill 'er up! (0) |
| Wednesday, October 15 | | · | Confirm received HOTEL (0) |
| Saturday, October 04 | | · | Airlines should keep their mouths shut! (0) |
| Wednesday, September 17 | | · | Guess who? (0) |
| Wednesday, September 10 | | · | Aviator minds work differently (0) |
| Friday, September 05 | | · | Funny story from PhuBai (1) |
| Sunday, August 31 | | · | Flight control software (0) |
| Thursday, August 28 | | · | German Airfield (0) |
| Friday, August 22 | | · | Training the blonde (0) |
| Friday, July 25 | | · | What’s in a name? (0) |
| Thursday, July 24 | | · | Good Afternoon, This is your captain speaking... (0) |
| Tuesday, April 22 | | · | Normal morning rush (0) |
| Sunday, December 22 | | · | What’s up with gravity anyway? (0) |
| Sunday, October 27 | | · | Working environment (0) |
| Wednesday, July 10 | | · | awwwww sh** (0) |
| Sunday, July 07 | | · | Never Forget! (1) |
| Friday, July 05 | | · | My kind of Woman! (0) |
| Tuesday, July 02 | | · | A skydiving lesson (0) |
| Sunday, June 30 | | · | Parallel Park (0) |
| Wednesday, June 26 | | · | Military cargo plane (0) |
| Tuesday, June 25 | | · | Train vs Plane (0) |
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